A month or so ago at church we did a series covering 9 different pathways through which we can connect with God - despite all the teaching on this I ended up focusing on one pathway to the exclusion of all others this past month and now find myself in a rut =S so here I am back to blogging to try and kickstart my journey again.
Its funny the way we each journey with God. During the winter and especially the frantic semester times I find it far easier to include God - to allow Him entry. Come summer and a season where I FINALLY have time to sleep and breathe and relax to the point of boredom and it feels like all the old barriers are up again and as I don't have to make an effort to fit Him in timewise I find I don't make any effort at all and the days slip by without meaningful dialog or growth.
And it hurts.
And I'm lonely.
But its all my OWN doing.
Whats with that? It is so true that God never leaves us - we leave Him. I am increasingly convinced that Christianity is not series of actions but rather its a direction towards God. When we stop moving towards Him or even start to retreat does that mean we are no longer Christians though? No. I think it means we are no longer behaving like Christians but our basic identity remains the same. When we change our identity deliberately and start moving towards another central idea or thing THEN I think we stop being Christian. But then those are just MY thoughts so far.
So what am I doing about all this? Well for sure I'm admitting to certain people that things are not cool with me and God at the moment. I'm also heading back down paths that have drawn me closer to God in the past and also down paths I went down when I was closer to God than I am now. Don't get me wrong I haven't left God for a time and come back its more that I haven't been deliberately seeking God and putting time and energy and thought into our relationship and this is having a really unhealthy effect on me.
If anything I have learned that the time of change - especially between life seasons - is a really easy time to fall away from old habits, healthy and unhealthy, and I need to be more aware and intentional than ever at those times. Otherwise I will keep on learning the same lessons Im learning at the moment.
Its much easier to use momentum to keep growing closer to God than to have to start yourself moving from a dead halt - Trust me!!!!
1 comment:
I attended a couple of those services that had teaching on “pathways to God.” All of 9 relate to obeying God, which is the basis of the relating, connecting and having fellowship with God. I like your honesty. I’m in a rut too, but for different resosns. In the last few years or so I have been actively, systematically challenging my theistic worldview and looking doubt in the face. This is necessary for intellectual commitment to Christianity. I am there. Now I have a experiential problem, to which I will devote this year to. I must now move from an awareness of God, a mental assent to truth an acknowledgement of His presence into knowing God.
“When we stop moving towards Him or even start to retreat does that mean we are no longer Christians though?” Some might see my challenging of Christian presuppositions and maximums inherit in the bible as being dangerous, because such endeavors are dramatically opposed to moving towards God. It was blatant, willful challenging. Just as you have indicated, it is possible to do all this and still be a Christian. I considered this worth the risk (many people have abandoned Christianity on such pursuits) because I wanted intellectual commitment. Consequently, for large chunks of time I have remained disconnected, in a fellowship sense from God, yet still aware of His presence. In other words, fellowship was broken but I remained a Christian because of a relational status with God, in that I retained identity (which you spoke of) as an adopted son of God through faith in the Gospel. God is still my Father in Haven even if I don’t talk to Him, when fellowship is broken via sin, laziness, intellectual road blocks or experiential hindrances.
Cat, your post was very proactive in its intent and purpose. Awesome. You know where you are at and what you are doing.
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