Peace - a funny thing!

I heard somewhere recently that peace in the bible is not 'peace and quiet' as in escape or retreat to solitude in the Hebrew context but has more to do with living in accordance with one another and God in harmony... ie not being at war.

This is intriguing me and making me rethink the 'peace of God' and what it means to be filled with God's peace. When I use the peace test and have peace about a decision its not that I am quiet about it - its that I'm not at war within myself, I'm not disturbed in my spirit but I'm content and confident in my choice.

Last night I had a conversation that probably should have happened a while ago. I came away from it filled with great peace and settled in myself for the first time in a while and I realised that this area had been effecting all of the rest of my life simply because I didn't have peace within myself and was continually questioning, doubting, reconsidering my thoughts and actions. I had been seeking God and wondering why I was struggling so much... seems this is one of a few things that I was at war with in my head and spirit and I could not resolve it on my own. Having started to do so my whole demeanor is so much improved and I feel God at work as He shapes my understanding and heart in a new way. Peace. It's soooo good!!!

^{Philippians 4:4} Rejoice^ in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.^{ 5} Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. ^6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ^7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The Holy Bible : New Revised Standard Version. 1996, c1989 . Thomas Nelson: Nashville

Longing sux!

In community worship a few weeks ago I think Rod raised the suggestion that we need to long more - to dream - to hope - to imagine - to desire. Well as far as I am concerned longing doesn't happen so much because it opens me up to an awareness of what is not possible, to what I cannot change, to pain, to frustration, to weakness, to devastation, to a deep insatiable ache in my soul that I cannot assuage and God is seemingly asking me to wait on. and on. and on.

I'm not saying longing is wrong but I am saying it is costly and in a full life it brings in a new dimension I'm not sure I want to sacrifice for and yet I'm not sure I can ignore either.

So is it best to embrace longing wholeheartedly or at a distance? Does it matter? I don't know... yet

Hmph convictions!!!

Arghhhhhhhhhh that last blog required absolutely no vulnerability from me and now Im kinda convicted by that oversight. If I tried to write down all thats going through my heart and mind these days I don't know if I would stop writing for hours... too much too much.

So me = vulnerable = I want to qualify what I want to say lol.
I think I have a clearer idea now of who God is, therefore of who I am, therefore of what He has created me for / is calling me to. Which is pastoring, marriage, family, AND scholarship. Scholarship meaning doing applied research into the NZ context and relaying insights gained to the NZ church as a whole in various unforeseen God-ways. So be it. Now to find ways of growing in these areas without getting off track, without just sitting back and waiting on God making all the moves, and while still letting Him move the boundary lines as I go about life...

Vulnerable conversations

I think I live in a world, a society, a culture, which is afraid to be honest.
I think that my generation has seen so much abuse of trust,
brokenness and confusion over what it means to be a person - to be part of a functioning family or group,
and so much tolerance where nothing is unacceptable or critiquable and no standards are evident,
that we don't believe in being vulnerable anymore.
Vulnerability means abuse
means pain
means rejection
means tolerance with no offer of transformation.

When we come to the church
with these views of the world
we try to remain invulnerable
leading to
legalism
Pharisees
facades
Perfect Christians - clean on the outside and filthy inside.

If we allow Jesus to transform us maybe
just maybe
becoming vulnerable
admitting doubts
confusion
fears
sins
Sin

maybe we might find
others
who feel the same, behave the same, want the same
instead of acceptance of ourselves as we are (which validates our Sin and changes nothing)
encouragement to do better,
deep love urging us to change,
hope for a better future,

a way to reach people. Christian and non-Christian.
a way to love people. Christian and non-Christian.
a way to be the church.
a way to be real.

Vulnerable.