Sunday, 25 January 2009

I slept in and church went byebye

I'm kinda sad - my sleeping habits are screwy at the moment and I'm struggling to feel healthy but still its a choice to get up and go to church and I didnt choose to ensure I woke up in time to go. The older I get as a Christian the more I realise how sinful I am. Year before last I was sooo happy with how much I had grown and God had changed and removed from my life - now I'm horrified by how much more needs to be done! Humbling? Yes because it makes me realise how much less I need to become and how much more God needs to take over in my life.

Saturday, 24 January 2009

Loving the city - time to get uncomfortable

Been listening to Marc Driscoll preaching again - this time from the Resurgence podcasts - and I'm getting stirred again. I love Hamilton the city to bits. I love the setting, the scenery, the laziness, the people I know both family and church family and friends, and I guess I love how comfortable and content I am here too. But I also know that the reasons as to why I emotionally love Hamilton also mean that I don't practically love it... I'm too comfortable in my routine and knowledge. I don't go out on the town at night, I don't cruise the Te Rapa straight on the weekends, I don't explore areas known to be 'dodgy', I don't notice the areas of social despair and disrepair. I love my version of Hamilton - not the reality of Hamilton.


Moving to Auckland I'm intending to make sure I don't get stuck in comfy city mode and I'm also starting to pray that it changes my understanding and approach to Hamilton too. I love Hamilton so much that I truly desire long term to live and minister and love here so for this reason too I am moving away - I want to be able to see Hamilton and learn to love it practically too.



On September 21, 2007, Mark Driscoll was invited to speak at the Convergent Conference at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. In this session listen at Pastor Mark explains the major streams of the Emerging Church and specifically, the sub-set of of the Emerging Church, known as the "Emergent Church".

Monday, 19 January 2009

Suffering

I recently had a friend declare themselves not a Christian after choosing to be a Christian for several years. She described God as being cruel and stated that He created her to suffer for His enjoyment. Wow.

I'm not sure I responded well to her statements in the moment - though I prayed and talked at the same time and trust that God was with me (and her!) - but I have definitely thought about them since. Thing is I KNOW she is wrong, disregarding for the moment that the personal relationship I share with God rejects that possibility entirely simply on the basis of the love, peace, hope, joy and grace that He has blessed me with, the bible clearly tells us this is not so.

To know what God thinks of suffering we need to look at Christ His son. Jesus experienced suffering - enduring extreme suffering on the cross for our redemption - and saw it as a necessary part of life because of our sin. Did God enjoy this? NO! Did Jesus enjoy this? NO! He even asked that it be taken from him before submitting to God the Fathers will. But it was necessary. Suffering allowed us to return to relationship with God. It was not God's choice that suffering exist rather we chose it by choosing to sin.

However that aside...

What got my attention was that this woman had appeared to be a Christian for years and yet clearly either did not ever truly know God or didnt know the God I know. My God is the God of the bible. His love is expressed on every page. His mercy and grace is described in detail. He suffers along with me when I suffer and accepts me and loves me even when I sin against Him causing Him pain and anguish. He talks with me and showers blessings into my life. So how did this friend miss all this? How could we have not noticed she didnt really know who Father God is?

This is not a guilt trip. I do not feel guilty for not 'doing' more or spending more time with this friend. I know I have been far too busy with far too many responsibilities which have only been distractions from spending time with God. I know I reached my limits. My heart is for my friend and I pray and long for the time when she really gets to know Father God. But I do want to explore these thoughts more for the future.

On reflection I wonder if we - we being the church as a whole - need to become more 'hardline' on discipline. Self-discipline is a fruit of the spirit, it is given and grown by and with God, not a result of will power. There are 8 more fruits, gentleness goodness faithfulness joy peace love patience and kindness. If we do not see these fruits growing in strength and presence in fellow Christians lives we need to gently and lovingly ask about them, see how they are going, help them, teach them, hold them accountable. We need to be disciplined in 'judging' fellow Christians and challenging them to grow in relationship with God. If we hold one another accountable and bring discipline into the way we do so then I think we ensure the church grows as a whole.

If this was happening I wonder if then we might be more likely to spot in-name-only Christians. People who either talk the talk but choose not to walk the walk or people who believe they are genuine Christians and are not in relationship with God with unregenerated hearts(regenerated hearts are those that God has changed and are reborn desiring to follow God's law doing good rather than unregenerated hearts that are ultimately desiring to sin and these desires being suppressed or given into) who are left trying to do everything in their own strength and thus keep failing.

Maybe this would mean we would be able to lovingly explain why things are so hard and who God really is to them before they give up on God and Christianity as being too hard and too judgemental and too cruel...

Life is sooooo hard. I cannot imagine doing it without God and His grace and mercy. Christianity is a really hard path to travel within life. To do it in my own strength would be to fail repeatedly hour after hour. I would be so depressed and discouraged and disillusioned. I cannot begin to comprehend trying to do life and be a Christian without God. That must truly be hellish. Maybe thats why so many Christians fall away from God - they either never knew Him or their relationship with Him grew distant and they forgot who He truly is...

Time to draw close again.

I have resolved not to keep explaining away why this is not a regular thing - I accept that sometimes it is and sometimes its not. Thats cool with me.

So.

It was a very hard year again and I found myself at the end of it pretty much as close to burn out as you can get without being irretrievably changed in personality and capacity and I can only account for that by means of God's grace upon me. He knows my limits far better than I did and do though I pray I am more aware now too! Having taken a couple of months off - well as 'off' as I could financially survive upon - I find myself still quite easily tired and easily frustrated but with space to think and breathe and be again. I also have health which I am profoundly grateful for.

All of which means Im pondering this year and the things that happened and trying to draw truths from them...